Emperor Droop. Hahahahaha. I rule legions by following these rules,  I have amassed an army. A horde of shining armor and angry goblins. We will conquer the entire human world. Faerûn is ours. Oh one last thing before I conquer the world… The party likes magic items, skills, and feats. The party wants to be overpowered but do not give them something that would unbalance the game. It can get very out of hand when the party can cut through the goblins. Especialy at 1st level. Like a ring of resurrection is not good in the hands of a party. Ever. But in the hands of a goblin it is quite fun. Now goodbye, I have a world to conquer.

The goblin king Droop wishes to also tell you that preparing for a dungeon is just as important as playing it. You have to read the entire section of the module you plan to run. You should have, more or less prepared how you wish to say it. You should also get all the materials that you will need. Pencils, calculators, paper, and character sheets. Pre made or otherwise (if you plan on making character sheets, they take about 40 minutes to make, so make sure you have enough time.) If you are going to use miniatures you should also have those. Another tip is Print out handouts (maps, magic items, images of monsters, NPCs, structures, or artwork.) Goblins killers, I mean party members like something tangible they can hold and look at. Also don’t bog down party members with stuff, or bog down the narrative with stuff. You can’t over do it, or else the party gets utterly confused. Wait I like that, if they’re dizzy they miss more. Lastly get familiar with you NPCs. Players really like it when you almost overdue the role playing. It also adds a lot to the atmosphere of the game. Role playing is very important.

So I Droop, the Goblin Scribe has informed you of a couple rules for running the dungeon but now I will tell you about being a good DM. First remember it is a game. Everyone should have FUN!!! (Goblins not have grammar good.) It’s a game, so don’t get caught up by details and rules, just let the game flow. Do not get control of the plot, if you interfere you tend to get unhappy players. Unless of course they are shooting at Goblins, in that case argue away. You must save the Goblins.

So I am Droop the dungeon master and I will help you save the goblin population. I mean run a good module. The one most important rule is building up character and npc relationships and connecting backstorie to the plot. Whoops that’s two rules. The two most important rule is building up character and npc relationships, connecting backstorie to the plot, and last but not least Don’t randomly put goblins to death or just throw in monster were ever, let the story do the talking not the monsters. Dang it that was three rules. The three most important rule is building up character and npc relationships, connecting backstorie to the plot, Don’t randomly put goblins to death or just throw in monster were ever let the story do the talking not the monsters, and last but not least its a game, everyone should have fun. Ok forget the number of rules, those were the early and all important rules. Wait I forgot one, The orcs, bugbears, & hobgoblins are there to die, do not over power them. Yes kill all the nasty orc filth. Goblins will conquer all.

“Bree-yark or not giet ou.” You should never hear these words in d&d if you follow these simple rules. Now let’s get this straight I am a goblin named Droop. And these words mean we surrender or something like that. So follow these rules and you will have less adventures killing mostly innocent goblins. Goblins are 3 feet tall you big tall human bullies. So here is rule 1 for being a dungeon master. First it is not all about combat. You have to build the storie. You have an army of goblins occupying a city. Ok more like 3 or 4 per room. Then you have the party save a villager from me. And from there you build a nice adventure. Were goblins rule the world ish.